I am aware that blogs are an acquired taste and… this blog may be the most boring one known to mankind. If it has seemingly little purpose all I can say is… oh well… it’s me.
Let me introduce myself. My name is Matt. I’m 27 and I am also asexual.
Welcome to my blog… “The Fat Ace“… a guide to loneliness.
I remember as an adolescent a time when this blogging revolution really began to catch on. Computers were becoming more friendly, the internet was more accessible and practically anyone could publish a blog for the world to see. Let’s be honest. Most of them probably sucked. Because we didn’t know what to say, how to say it or how to really utilize the tools we were given. So here’s to hoping I have learned my lessons over the years of my fair share of failed blogs.
This one, this blog, is intended to record my progress toward some new life goals. To me, there is a great divide making it’s way toward me. As my 30’s come barreling in, those close to me are starting their lives (e.g.: marriage, families, careers). And, being a realist, I know things will change. They have already, and my future, at a glance, seems a little bleak as far as friendship and companionship goes.
When I say a guide to loneliness I don’t mean I’m giving up on anything. No, I’m just simply trying to be smart. Hailing from a rural area has it’s downfalls. There is little education going around about asexuality and even littler amounts of asexual people to be found. This has played a huge factor in cultivating my biggest fear. Not a fear of being alone forever, but rather of reaching my 50’s and and regretting the majority of my life.
Don’t let the way I present myself in real life fool you… I do want to find someone who will accept and appreciate me as I am. But the truth of the matter is that there is a possibility we may never find anyone.
So… I am beginning a mission to make the most of my pathetic life. I don’t want to “EAT. PRAY. LOVE.” when I’m a senior citizen. I want to start today. I want to shape and mold my future so that I can grow more, be truer to who I am inside and find happiness in an independence I hope to find.
There are sayings that express the idea of a happier person being a more attractive person. Here’s to that, cheers!
Sadly, this will be no backpacking-spiritual journey or pilgrimage to some mecca. My obstacles I wish to conquer include include anxiety, poor physical health, low income, student loan/medical debt and a crappy car named Etta. I’m just a real person who wishes to be a little wiser and happier. This blog, these chronicles, are just another step toward feeling fufilled. Proof of progress.
I also wish for these posts to reach out to others who may be able to relate to my words. People who might be asexual, lonely, unhealthy… seeking motivation to aid them… seeking something more.
Please, if you’re reading this, leave a comment below. Reach and I’ll reach back. I would love to watch your journey unfold as well.