My Ace-ness

If you come across this and aren’t familiar with us asexuals, let me shed some light on the topic and tell you some about my personal experiences as well.
The italicized is borrowed from whatisasexuality.com

A Misunderstood Orientation

Many people hear the word “asexual” and make assumptions about what it means. They think of single-celled organisms in a petri dish. They think of a celibate monk on far off mountaintop. They think of a genderless robot from outer space. Asexuality isn’t any of those things

In particular:

  • Asexuality is not an abstinence pledge. (Although there may be abstinent aces.)
  • Asexuality is not a synonym for celibacy.  (There are celibate aces and promiscuous aces and aces everywhere in between.)
  • Asexuality is not a gender identity. (Although there may be trans, non-binary, or genderqueer aces.)
  • Asexuality is not a disorder. (Although there may be aces with physical or mental conditions.)
  • Asexuality is not a choice. (Although not every ace is “born that way”.)
  • Asexuality is not a hormone imbalance.  (Although there may be aces with hormone issues.)
  • Asexuality is not a fear of sex or relationships.  (Although there may be aces who are afraid of or otherwise dislike sex or relationships.)

  • Attraction, Not action

    Asexuality is a sexual orientation, like homosexuality or heterosexuality.  And like being straight or being gay, it’s about what someone feels, not what someone does.  Dating, having sex, masturbating, falling in love, getting married, or having children do not conflict with asexuality in any way.  There are many reasons why an asexual person might do these things that do not require sexual attraction to be present.

    Experiencing arousal or orgasm also do not conflict with asexuality.

    Some Do, Some Don’t

    Many questions people have about asexuality can be answered with the same phrase: “Some Do, Some Don’t.”  Do asexuals date?  Some do, some don’t.  Do asexuals fall in love?  Some do, some don’t.  Do asexuals have sex?  Some do, some don’t.  Do asexuals masturbate?  Some do, some don’t.  Do asexuals like pepperoni pizza?  Some do, some don’t.  We are all individuals, with our own individual preferences and personalities, and it is generally impossible

    Now what about me? The Fat Ace himself? Well I have answered some predetermined questions below but if you have anything else you would like to know, just ask!

    What is your romantic/sexual orientation?

    I am asexual, biromantic

    How old were you when you realized you were asexual?

    I was around 23 and had seen it mentioned in social media but never investigated. As I read up on it, my life began to make more sense to me than it ever had before. 

    Do you identify as a part of the queer community?

    I do because I am attracted to men but overall I don’t play any kind of active roles in any communities. I am slowly attempting to find others like me who are also close enough to have meet up events but so far I’ve had no such luck.

    Are you out?

    I came out once to my closest friends. Breathing was getting difficult the more I knew about myself because it was also showing me how no one knew me at all. My family knows nothing of it and I prefer it that way. But in my social scenes it’s just a part of me.

    What do relationships mean to you?

    Relationship are this mythical creature I am scared of and yet also seeking out consistently. I want someone who will accept and appreciate me. For me, it’s all about actually having that one person who is your partner in crime. A reason to wake up everyday. I’ve never had that. That’s part of this blog though. Until I find someone… I will find and create other reasons to wake up.

    Write something or post a picture about asexuality that upsets you.

    I’m tired of all the stereotypes. The My Little Pony craze, like I’m almost 30… and the cake? I prefer pizza… plus I’m diabetic. Sooooo…yeah. I am me. I’m not sex repulsed, I don’t care about sex being everywhere! I just want to get to know other aces… not sit and continually complain about the world. What I’m saying is I am often upset by feeling like the only Ace out there with my point of view.

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