Flustercuck

About six months ago I started a blog. This blog.

My focus was intended to be on the life of an asexual man who was also gay, overweight and living a mediocre life with mediocre looks. This life and it’s struggles were going to help me write a guide to loneliness within the chronicles that would be my blog. I was riding a high brought on by trading in a shabby old clunker of a car and finally tasting freedom. It had me slapping at my keyboard like I was getting paid for every word I produced.

So what happened?

Obviously highs wear off but there was more to it. As cliche as it may sound this confidence and can-do attitude about my possible life alone led to me meeting someone. A few more posts were churned out while I got to know this gent and he even read some. Then I just stopped.

How can you write a guide to loneliness if you’re not lonely?

There wasn’t a moment that I sat and decided I was done with blogging but rather I traded in blog posts for continual texts to a special someone.

He’d get a real kick out of that seeing as how he states I didn’t text him enough and my response times were not up to par but ANYWHO…

As you can tell, that’s over with. Now I’m back to square one. Except I don’t want to be at square one. I want this noise in my head to simmer a bit.I don’t think it was just that I briefly found someone which caused me to give up. Struggling to commit to blogs and the sort has always been an issue I’ve faced. When I step back and look at the situations I think I’ve been too focused on my focus.

I’m not sure if I mentioned it before but I always have this voice in my head, the voice of a radio jockey from my childhood, going over blog etiquette. He said that you always need to have a clear focus, a direction to go… and I’ve tried… but how do you know which direction your life is going to go? Maybe my focus has been too small.

I am asexual… it’s a part of my life… so really everything that happens to me falls under the category of MY ASEXUAL LIFE:

So from here on out I’m going to put less stress on myself.

I want to delete my previous posts and start over but… they’re part of my journey.

Expect to hear more from me. Long rants. Short stories. All part of my ace life.

Wish me luck… again…

-The Fat Ace

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